Keep my Hands Open

Something else occurred to me a couple weeks ago. It was really late and I was sitting in my cozy little nook in my room writing in my prayer journal. I came to a certain subject that had me quite worked up emotionally and was just weighing too heavily on my mind and heart. I lifted the pen and started crying out to God. "Please, God, just take it away. I need you to just take it away," was my plea. How often do I ask God to do such a thing, but in reality I want him to change the situation so that it makes me more comfortable? How often do I ask God to control something, when really what I'm asking is for him to make it go 'my way'? How often do I ask God to take something, when all along I'm still the one that's clinging to it for dear life? And that's when it hit me.

I need to keep my hands open at all times. 

The Lord gives, and he takes away. All the time he does this in our lives; it shapes us into the people he's called us to be. He may give us one thing for a little while, but then once its season has passed, he removes it. Other times, after he removes it, he brings it back once we're ready to handle it again. But all the while, we must keep our hands open; for, the things that he gives us -whether it be time, money, relationships, or any other good thing - still all belong to him! 

If I try and clench my fists around something that he has blessed me with and deceive myself into thinking that it is allll mine...well it's going to be a lot more painful for me if and when the time comes for him to take it away. Have you ever tried to get free something in the tight fisted grasp of someone else, especially a small child? It can be a long painful process that is essentially unnecessary. It is especially unnecessary when the one who is trying to take it away has something better to put in its place! And that is what God does: He gives and takes away things in our lives at just the right times all for our GOOD. 

What's more, say God takes something away and gives you something else; however, unbeknownst to you, later on he plans on returning it. Well, if we close our hands around whatever we're holding on to and claiming as our own, that leaves no space for God to continue giving new things or returning things that we once had because our hands are closed! 

I want to be someone who always has my hands open ready to encounter God and to receive the things he wants to give and to freely let go of the things he want take. If I constantly have my hands open, blessings will flow much more smoothly. I think, that if my hands are open, then when it comes time for him to take something away, I'll be ready and it won't hurt as much- if at all. If I keep my hands open, then I think it will keep my heart open as well. An open heart is one that in all circumstances is ready to trust in and praise God and to love people. An open heart is one that is more easily molded to look like that of Christ, which leads to a clearer representation of the Gospel in this fallen and sinful world. 

Needless to say, after this all hit me, my plea became, "Keep my hands open, Father. Please, just keep them wide open."

I hope this was as encouraging to someone else as it was to me.

Blessings to you!

Sarah

Changes in Excitement...

Today is the second time that I have started to compose a post...the first post after returning to the US. However, it is probably about the fiftieth time that compelling ideas and topics have come into my mind and, after having digested them awhile, had the resolving notion of, "I think I'll put that in my next blog post." Well, it's been nearly two months since I've been back, and I'm just now getting around to it...

My journey home from Austria was highly segmented, I feel... First there was leaving Hollabrunn and saying 'aufwiedersehen' to the Gehrings. Then there was  leaving Vienna and flying into Dublin. Then there was the long bus ride (with WiFi!) from Dublin all the way up to Coleraine, Northern Ireland (NI). Then there was being reunited with Jillian. Then there was meeting all of the CSSM team members. Then there was the two weeks of "working," a.k.a going to the beach, playing circle games, and having water fights and messy quizzes, with 13-17 year old students and sharing with them about Jesus all whilst bonding with aforementioned team members. Then there was the end of the team and taking down the tents and getting to see Lauren and Andy. Then there was the New Horizon conference (amazing free christian conference in NI) and seeing Gareth and Chad and some more member of the CSSM team. Then there was the day in Belfast. Then there was the bus journey from Belfast to Dublin. Then there was the flight from Dublin to Chicago. Then there was surprising my parents by entering from another direction but then their own little surprise directed right back at me in the form of Jessi! Then there was my first supper and round of expository conversation at Chipotle. And, finally, there was the ever so familiar 2.5 hour drive from the Chicago suburbs to Dunlap and all its corn and soybean fields and, of course, my cute little white house.

During all of these segments, my head was all abuzz with all sorts of things. To say that I was missing people and places at each stage would be an understatement. To say that I was wishing that everyone could just fit into my suitcase would not do them enough justice. To say that I was becoming more uncertain and excited and slightly anxious about returning to America would not even begin to scratch the surface. I was about to come back to a place that I hadn't called home in eleven months, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. There were a lot of unknowns in nearly every category of my life. How had people changed? Were people going to understand me or at least try to? Was I going to cry a lot? When was I going to find a job and start paying for stuff? What church was I going to go to? How was I going to keep in touch with all of these people hours and an ocean apart, and who was going to make an effort in keeping in touch with me? How would it be living at home with my parents again, when I hadn't for basically five years? And, most importantly, after changing positively in certain ways while being away, were those changes going to stick now that I was back? All of these questions and more floated in and out out my mind all throughout the culmination of my time abroad. Sometimes I stayed on them long enough and tried to come up with workable solutions, or in some instances the many steps to a final solution. Now, after almost two months, I do have some answers. Some...

People had changed, but not dramatically. Dramatic is a word better used to describe the changes in certain circumstances rather than certain people.
Some people understand me and some don't, but most of them at least try.
I did cry, but not a lot; there were also those times that I wished I could cry but couldn't - such a girl thing.
I got a part-time job at a clothing store, which I actually really enjoy; I'm still applying for full-time jobs.
I decided, as of a few days ago, that I'm staying at Peoria First Nazarene and helping out with the youth group and possibly music stuff too! Yay!
I got a smart phone the day after I got back with lots of fun (and free) chatting and messaging apps.
Being twenty-three and living with your parents has it's ups and downs, but I'm trying to focus on the positives, of which there are indeed many.
All the rest, I just try and take a day at a time.

About two weeks ago I think I was starting to crack at the seams. Someone asked me, for the hundredth time, "Are you excited to be home?" I gave what was probably an unconvincing "yeah" as my answer, but the real answer was a resounding "NO". That word, 'excited', and all its variations are no longer what I use to describe being back, and it hasn't been for a good while. I think the 'excitement' wore off after about a week or two into my new job. Don't misunderstand - I like my job just fine, but the novelty has worn off, and so lately all my life had really consisted of was going to work and being at home doing...well, not a whole lot. I hadn't seen a lot of my friends all that much, unsure of their new schedules and being to lazy to ask, which is clearly my own fault. I felt like I had all this energy and motivation to do stuff with people but no where to expel it, which was then in turn draining me, making my true extroversion shine. And then things started looking up. All in the span of one weekend. Lauren gave me a good life coaching session and then later that night I met up with her and Caroline and a couple new faces at a pub. Then there was the Pumpkin Festival and seeing more good friends...you get the picture. People were coming back into my life. I realize that I won't get to see everyone as much as I'd like to or as much as I used to, and that's okay. I just have to make the most, even more, of the times when I do get to see them. And now, finally, there is the excitement of committing to and getting involved in my church. I feel blessed with the opportunity, and I know God's got big things in store.

There's no doubt:  Life was EXCITING in Austria and in NI. But it is here too... It's just different, that's all. And different isn't always bad; I, of all people, should know that by now.
Until the next time...

Sarah

There Goes Another One

Another month is has nearly passed. I have been trying my best to fill my days with productivity in one way, shape, or form. In no particular order- writing in my journal, playing guitar, reading, running, being outside, and spending quality time with everyone I'm in contact with seem to be what constitute as productivity for me. I've also spent some time looking at possibilities of what may happen when I'm back in the States. A while ago, I had sort of unofficially decided to wait until I was back to seriously look at and apply for jobs. Well, then my parents sent me a few different things and told me to look on this website and apply for this, etc. I put it off and didn't really say much in reply. I didn't realize until I was talking with a friend that that had been my way of denying the reality that I indeed am going back. At this point, I wish I had like one or two more months here, that's all. However, not doing anything from this to prepare and hiding from the reality that will soon be upon me are two very unwise things to do. So I stopped avoiding the plague, strapped up my big girl boots, and opened up a few familiar websites: different hospital's career pages and UIC's nursing page. And I was pleasantly surprised to learn how I felt about it: content and ready. People have been asking me lately, "Are you excited to be going home?"
My reply has quite simply and consistently been, "I wouldn't say excited exactly; more sort of a general and calm 'looking forward' to it. I'm not counting down the days or anything, although I do have a general idea, but I pray to be ready to leave when the time comes."

And that's that.
I leave Vienna on the fifth of July, at which point I will be on my way to Northern Ireland for a little over two weeks. I will be serving on a Scripture Union NI mission team, and about that I will certainly say that I am excited. We will be providing what is more or less a super awesome VBS for kids and families in the Benone area. My friend Jillian is co-leading the team, so it will be fun to work alongside her. Plus I think at least a few other friends will be about when I'm there too, so it should be a fabulous time! Then I'll fly back to Chicago on the twenty-third of July to start whatever God has planned for me Stateside.

Enough about the future. Let's go back into the past for a bit...

Last Saturday, I was blessed with an opportunity to earn a little extra money. I babysat for Noa's au pair family's church's little weekend seminar. My friend Angel was also providing her services as well, so we had a fun time together, although we were both really tired. We didn't have the best directions as to how to get to the church, so we got a little turned around on our journey; however, it provided just enough extra time for a little chick chat, which is always nice. We were with the little babies and toddlers, which I was sort of looking forward to. But when they were all upset because they were either not feeling the greatest or wanting their mommies, I was reevaluating my anticipation. Ha. There was one sweet little baby girl who I finally got to sleep in my arms, which is always a triumph, especially when you are also able to lay her down without her waking up! Wooohooo! Then the older kids came back, two of which I knew from Noa's family, and then it just got crazy. Luckily though, they also came with more adult reinforcements.
I took a few of the older kids to one of the little play places, and one of the boys asked me, "Warum kennst du English?" (Why do you know English)
I said, "Veil ich komme aus den USA." (Because I come from the USA). He was just like, "Oh." It was a pretty special moment. Then one of the girls (she spoke English) held a little flower in her hand. She said, "Do you know what this is?"
"It's a poppy," I replied. "I really like poppies."
"Me too. I picked it for you!" That was a special moment too. I put the flower in my hair and she just smiled at me. Little girls can be so sweet- even sweeter still when you have their approval.

Once we left, I made my way to Kelli, and we took a very round about way to an Italian restaurant where we both ordered pizza to prepare for the 10k the next morning. It was spectacular!

Pizza Viennese: with mozzarella and wurstel! Yum 

The restaurant: Il Sestante

On our way back, we decided to take a peek at what the Life Ball, a huge AIDS fundraiser, was all about at the Rathaus Platz. Andreas had told me earlier that Bill Clinton was going to be there, and so when I relayed that little tidbit to Kelli, she was thrilled and wanted to see him. We thought we'd at least try. We had not planned to stay for very long, but then Adam Lambert started performing on stage, and we were both like, "WHHHHATT?!" So we moved closer so try and at least see the actual stage instead of just the screens broadcasting what was happening. There were so many people, but we were able to get a decent glimpse. Then somebody else important was coming down the center aisle: Hilary Swank!!!! She spoke about The Girl Effect and gave out an award or two. Then Elton John came out a gave a speech. Fergie talked a bit. Then Barbara Eaton came out in her genie garb, and her master's last wish required none other than Bill Clinton to walk out on stage to describe how we are all part of making the master's last wish, no more AIDS victims, come true. It really was a spectacular sight and I am glad we stayed to just take it all in.

Elton John is the one speaking in the middle

L-R: woman MC, Famous Olympic diver, Fergie, Genie's Master, Sir Elton John, Bill Clinton, "Genie" Barbara Eaton, man MC

The lights we really cool. The theme for the event was Arabian Nights, so people were dressed in some pretty interesting outfits and costumes!!

Wow. What a night. On the Strassenbahn ride home, we couldn't stop remarking about the randomness that was what we had just experienced. Also on the Strassenbahn, there were two interesting gentleman going up and down the tram with glass cleaner and paper towels wiping down the windows. I bet they had to have been at least slightly intoxicated, but I couldn't be sure. After they wiped the window, they looked at us, showed us the 'dirt' they'd collected from the glass (there was hardly anything on their towels) and basically said, "You're standing for this low standard? These windows are filthy! And you, you're eating on this tram? How disgusting." The driver took no notice of them though, at least from what I could make out. Seriously... When in Vienna...!

It was rise and shine time about six and a half hours later as we got ready to head to the Frauenlauf! We had to get there early to pick up our numbers and t-shirts--Ahh! So exciting!! We found everything, had a sit to look through our bags at all of our 'freebies' (COOL BLUE Gatorade was one of them---I haven't tasted that sweet nectar in three years!!! I had never done anything in that span of time to really deserve one, at least that's what I told myself), and just took it all in. There was a guy on the main stage leading all the 5k-ers in a warm-up, and then a Zumba session followed! The sun was shining, but it was quite windy which made it chilly when we were just sitting, but during the race, it felt really nice. The 10k started at 10:25, but that was just for starting block A. After that, each one started two minutes after; since I was in block C, I started at 10:29! I planned to time myself anyway, but since I saw no clock at the start, I made sure not to forget to start my watch as soon as my foot hit the mat. This was the first race that I have run since my last outdoor track season at NCC, so May of 2010! Three years is a long time to go without racing after having done it for 8 years straight! I had never raced a 10k before. In outdoor track at NCC I told my coaches that I really didn't ever want to race 6.2 miles! While I was running on Sunday though, I really enjoyed it. So many years of practicing different racing strategies came flooding back to memory, but I had nothing solid to base this race off of. The longest I'd ever raced was 6k in college cross country, so this was a bit more than that! I tried not to start off too fast but at the same time to just let my legs go when they wanted too. I tried to build throughout the whole thing, and I think I did a pretty decent job. It was so fun moving through the packs of people, passing them and leaving them behind! There were a few times I got frustrated when I couldn't pass people, especially when they would slow down, on a slight downhill no less! Crazy! Thirty thousand one hundred women participated in the entire event (5k, 10k, Nordic walking). My finishing time was 48:36 minutes, which converts to about 7:49 min/mile and 4.51 min/km. Not bad at all for my first one, plus that met my quiet goal of finishing in under 50 minutes. I wasn't a complete ball of jelly at the end, but I definitely kicked it in and felt like I'd ran a good race.

As soon as we got to the race area that morning, I felt this old foggy part of myself begin to reawaken; it only continued as the day went on. As I walked along the finishers' path and back to the area where we dropped off our bags, I chugged almost a whole water bottle that was basically thrown at me, and I began to feel those very familiar after-race pleasantries. My throat was sore and dry, my abs were tight and a bit sore, my hips felt a little wobbly- not unlike how Pinocchio most likely felt , I had the start of a very mild headache, my nose was running, and I just wanted my Cool Blue Gatorade!!! As I waited in line for my stuff, I kept my eye out for Kelli, but I didn't see her until my bags had been returned to me and was headed over to a spot to put on a couple warmer layers. And OOOHHH my, that Gatorade tasted better than I remembered! Plus it was a struggle to get the cap off, so when it finally touched my lips, it was just heavenly. I'm sure the endorphins were playing their role, but it was more than that I think. I was so happy and excited to be "back." As soon as I had sat down and eaten my banana and orange, I felt the eagerness begin to build and the desire to quickly to sign up for my next race, whatever the distance may be. I plan to work my way up to a marathon, but I'm not in a rush. Another 10k or a half and some random 5ks in there too sound pretty swell.
I love the fact that I will always be a runner. Always.

Kelli and I! There were supposed to be 4 of us running, but Natalie got injured and Noa was sick. We were also going to wear homemade white tank tops that said "Run for Boston" but that didn't happen. Mind you, we did make the tank tops, but we just didn't wear them because they were at Noa's. 

We were just about to hand over our bags...and  then sit and be pretty chilly for the next hour before starting to warm up for the race!

Finished her first race EVER like an all-star!

Everyone got a medal and small rose! And of course my Gatorade was long gone by this point!

The main stage

Enjoying a Manner biscuit :)

Being amused by this super cute kid... as shown below...

Ha..it looks like his legs are huge..haha. Cute.

The finish!!!! ...On our way out to catch the bus, on which we nearly fell asleep. 

A few hours later, we made our way to church where Liz, our dear friend and favorite Canadian, would be in attendance for the last time. Lots of people asked Kelli and I about the race, so it was fun to talk about it some more there too! It was all I could do to keep my eyes open during the service, but I managed with only a few major nod-offs. Afterwards we stayed to eat pizza and hang out and listen to Erin's encouraging chat about her work with Intervarsity back in the States. It was really cool to hear about all she's doing and to partner with her in prayer for all the big things that God is doing and that the ministry will bring to the campus. Hearing her stories made me nostalgic for Focus and campus ministry life at NCC, but it was all well and good :)

No race day was ever complete for me until the "debrief" with my parents had happened, especially in college when they were not able to come to as many of my meets, so I was looking forward to that part of the day as well. My mom even wrote a sweet comment on my Facebook wall to cheer me on; I was slightly embarrassed but still loved and appreciated every word! They've always been my biggest fans and best source of support, therefore I was highly anticipating our Skype conversation when I got home. Thanks, Mom and Dad!! :)

Since I still had/have a cold, I've taken it easy this week as far as running goes. It's been oddly cold and windy here lately, therefore to try and actually get my cold away, I've been trying to stay inside. I ran Tuesday though, which was good. I knew it wouldn't be smart to go more than one day after the race  without running. Alas, today is a holiday so we're all at home from work and school. I had a lot of different things that I wanted to get done this week, picking the songs for Sunday's worship service and playing a lot of guitar being a couple of those things. Sunday will be my second to last time leading worship at the Chapel... I'm sure I'll have more to say about that experience as a whole a bit later on...

About a month ago or so, Jessi told me this quotation she heard and discussed in her grad program. I am glad she shared it with me because it has really stuck and been a good reminder. I suppose I am just trying to live more in the middle:

"Preset past is memory. Present present is attentiveness. Present future is expectation." 

I do not and have not said this enough, but THANK YOU to all of you who read this, laugh at my attempts to be humorous, love me, pray for me, listen to me, encourage me, support me, challenge me, and make me smile.

God, thank you for your unfailing love and grace and for arms and legs that can run and skip and jump. Please help me to not take it for granted.


Until the next time,

~Sarah

So Much...

...has happened in the last few week; however, I am going to try my best at succinctness.

I finally finished Knowing the Unknowable God, the book about Biblical paradoxes. It has deepened the way I think about God and the Bible so much, and I wish I would have read it...oh, about 4 years ago, when I actually first purchased it. So it can be with books like that. However, I know that this was the perfect time to read it. I have been able to speak to certain points at Bible study and in other conversations in ways that are a direct result of that book. How cool!! I think it will be a book that I (should and hope to) will read every year or so. Aaannd, today I finished reading Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne. It was a fun book that had me chuckling pretty good at a few parts. I appreciated the mineralogy and geology and general science chat; however, at times I did sort of glaze over it. I wanted to read another adventure story, and that it certainly was, but it wasn't my favorite and I found myself the slightest bit bored at times. I am a finisher though, and so I had to keep truckin' along until the last period was reached.

On the first of May I taught Kristina how to ride a bicycle without training wheels! A milestone for us both to be sure. I guess she has been trying to learn for a couple of years now, but she just didn't quite get the hang of it until this time around. I think I was just as excited as she was when I was no longer holding on the to bicycle or her back!!! She kept saying, "I LOVE this!" After she became comfortable going both fast (not crazy fast though) and slow, Elena got on her bike and they had "races" from one end of the small parking lot to the other. I started running in front of Elena as she was "chasing" me on her bike, which brought back very fond memories of playing 'Cops and Robbers' in my own church's parking lot, where I learned how to ride a bicycle, as a kid. So naturally, I explained the game, and we played: I was the robber and they were the cops. It was absolutely splendid.

About a week and a half ago, I met the sweetest lady on my journey into Vienna. She started speaking to me in German, and I was able to understand her and give my reply in German. Of course she could tell that I was not a native and asked where I was from. That in turn led us to chatting the whole one and a half hour ride- all in German! She even said my German and my vocabulary was good!! When we got into the city and had to part ways, we hugged and I thanked her for the pleasant conversation. We said goodbye the traditional Austrian way, kisses on both cheeks, and I didn't even feel awkward, like I do a lot of the time. We talked about all sorts of things and said we'd hope to see each other again in Hollabrunn. How lovely. Then on my way back home that night, I stopped in a cafe to say hi to a friend who was working and to tell him about my new friend. Most of the time we talk in English, but this time I was ready to tell him in German all about my day. There was someone else sitting there at the bar who I eventually met and joined the conversation, again, mostly all in German. Again, this new gentleman complimented my "skills." Haha. I had only planned to stop in for about 5 or 10 minutes, but stayed for at least a half hour chatting. It was great. And since then, I don't really know why exactly, I've been unusually excited and willing and not as nervous to speak the language. I know that it's my own fault that this did not happen sooner, but I'm not exactly sure why it didn't. Anybody will tell you that I was well excited to learn another language during these ten months, so it isn't that the interest wasn't there. I think part of it was that there were so many other things to get used to and to learn that took more of my motivation and didn't leave enough behind for the language. Alas, there seems to be a shift that has taken place in the motivation camp, which I am grateful for. And as they say, better late than never ;)

I've also been crafty and artsy lately. Since I only have a couple pairs of non-athletic shorts here, I decided to turn two pairs of jeans into shorts. I'm not totally finished yet, but so far I think they're looking okay. One pair I'm just leaving as cut-offs, and the other I'm trying to make them with the rolled-up look. But it's sort of tricky. Hopefully they'll turn out okay. I am also making a box out of cardboard pieces that I have '"collaged;" I'm not really sure of its purpose yet, but that is okay. Also, I have been dabbling in songwriting a bit as of late, both music and lyrics. I'm working on some stuff with a friend, and it has literally been one of the coolest things of my entire life, not to mention so much fun! :) :) :)

I'm really excited for my 10k coming up on the 26th of May. I think my mind and my body have finally caught up with each other in desire and will power and motivation to run and work out a lot and not eat so much chocolate. Two other girls from YAG and I are running it together, which is going to be really fun.

What else can I share...
I decided I want to get a tattoo...or maybe a couple.
Last Saturday I dyed my hair mahogany; it took two whole bottles of dye that's how long my hair has gotten! Last Sunday was Elena's first communion, and we had a really nice celebration time with the family.
Today was also another national holiday, so we were all at home. After I got back from my run, I went outside and let the girls spray me with water. We jumped on the trampoline and played in the sprinkler too :) A very good and relaxing day to be sure.

To avoid the risk of my attempt at succinctness being a total fail, I shall end, and please excuse the lack of photographs.

Until the next ramble,

~Sarah

Birthday thoughts and happenings

It was not until a couple of weeks ago that I finally booked my ticket to leave Austria: the 5th of July. Now that I actually have a date, something to count down to, it makes the rest of my time here seem all the more precious. There are so many things that I want to do and people that I still want to invest in. Ten and a half weeks is all that there is left; however, I know how much can happen in that amount of time. For the last four years, that same amount of time has been where all my life's punctuation marks have been: Fall term, Winter term, Spring term, repeat. So much happened during each one, so I know a lot will still happen here as well, which is encouraging to me now. But it also makes me think about the time that I have already spent here.

What have I done with it?
Who have I spent it with and for what reasons?
Who has taught me the most?
What has challenged me the most?
Who do I feel like I really know?
Does anyone really know me?
Have I made an impact in any regard to anyone or in anything at all?
I know these are a lot of deep questions, some of which I do have an answer for, at least in part. But others I really don't have an answer for... And then there's that final question: When will the answers come?

I finished skyping with Jessi a few hours ago, and I was reminded that if you just commit to practicing a willingness to learn from everything, to be corrected, to let your guard down, to be vulnerable, to take a few risks, and - most importantly - to trust that God will guide you through all things, then the answers will come at just the right time. They always do. Always. That being said, prayers for patience and discernment would be much appreciated ;)



Now that I shoved all the heavy stuff off my chest, I would just love to let you all know that I truly had a wonderful birthday weekend! On Friday, my actual birthday, it rained, which is sort of normal, but it wasn't cold, so that was nice. I had the girls during the day, and we had a good time. Kristina was excited to give me my card and the picture she drew me. She just kept saying, "Oh, Sarah, you must love it! You must!!"
And I replied with, "Well, of course I'll love it, it's from you; plus you made it!" Soooo so stinkin' sweet!
Since all of my family were actually not going to be at home in the evening, which finally made me realize that I'd be at home alone on my birthday, which then my extroverted self kicked in and made me realize that that would indeed make me quite depressed, I decided late that morning - but still sort of last minute - to go into Vienna for Bible study. Then depending on what all went on, possibly stay overnight there as well. It was a very good decision! I got there and Liz gave me a lovely card, Angel was preparing the meal for us all, and then when I walked into the dark living room, everyone popped their heads out from behind pillows and yelled, "SURPRISE!!" The fellowship, the food, and everything else in between was just lovely. Afterwards, a most spontaneous and brilliant sleepover happened with Noa, Kelli, and myself. Being all from the USA, we naturally talked about all the things we love and miss about our country, so that was just great. Sharing frustrations and jokes with fellow citizens is always fun, so thanks for that, ladies!

I got back home late in the morning on Saturday, went for a good run (I still had lots of sugar in me from the night before!). I was told that at some point I was not allowed in the kitchen, and to distract me, it was Kristina's job to take me upstairs and play Barbies. That did not end up needing to happen, as I just leisurely continued getting showered and ready once my workout was finished. Soon after, we sat down to a delicious meal of schnitzel, potato salad, and rice. So Austrian and so yummy!! We let that settle for a bit, and then we had the cake, which was seriously probably the best and coolest birthday cake I've ever had:

There's an owl on my cake!! So sweet!

I had planned to spend the rest of the weekend and Monday in Vienna, so once things settled back down at the house and I had snoozed a little while reading my book, I figured it was probably about time to head back as I didn't want to get there too late. After dropping off my overnight bag, I eventually made it to iCafe and met up with some more friends there. Luckily I was still sufficiently full from my amazing lunch that I did not even miss the fact that all the food was pretty much gone and cleared away at iCafe. I don't even want to know what I missed out on. Noa and I left and decided just to walk around a bit and take the scenic route back to the apartment, which was so very worth it.

The Rathaus by an April night

We came upon these potted palm trees lining the pavement between the Rathaus and the Burg Theater, which confused us both a wee bit:

And then we came to Parliament. I've walked by several times but never actually gone up to the front of it, so naturally, as it was after 10 pm and no one else was about, we walked up there. There are several statues spotting the railings, and I felt the need to climb onto the railings and then continue climbing onto the statues themselves.

Then we met up with another friend and finished out the night at an Irish pub where we talked in German to a Turkish guy (he said my German was good!), laughed a lot, met some new friends, and just had the best time!! I seriously cannot remember a night as fabulously enjoyable, brilliant and FUN as that since being in Vienna -  from the statue climbing all the way to climbing into bed at about 6 in the morning. Ah...what a great birthday! :) :)
Thank you, everybody! May there be many more to come - that is, birthdays and nights like that in Irish pubs alike.

Cheers 'til the next time 'round,

~Sarah

A Scare to Trust

Sometimes things happen, and they just straight up take you by complete and utter surprise. I feel like there have been a few things that have happened like that in the last couple of weeks; however, the one yesterday made me flip out the most.

I was on Facebook getting ready to tackle a few ongoing Words with Friends matches, when suddenly my screen went dark. Nothing else happened with the modem or anything; no weird sounds were heard. I could still see the faintest outline of the puzzle board, but not enough to actually do anything. I tried to brighten my screen via the keyboard controls, but that didn't work either. Then I did a force shutdown, waited a few minutes, and then started it back up again. The screen never came on, but I could tell it was booting up correctly: I heard all the right sounds, even my Skype signing in. Ugh!!!! So I tried it again. This time when it started up, the screen came on, but barely even got anywhere before it started flickering and then went out. And by this time I'm like flipping out, internally of course. I need this computer. It's the way I communicate with nearly everybody, not to mention a significant source of entertainment and music. Ahhhh!!!!
I sort of wanted to cry, but I thought that might be silly, so I held it in.

A couple hours later, Kristina and I went to the one computer repair store in Hollabrunn. I walked in, and said, "Ich habe eine Frage, do you speak English?"
He did, so my first worry was assuaged.
He started my computer, and of course everything was working fine. Of course.
Then he looked at a couple other things, both of which he said were totally fine. Of course.
Then he shut it down; that all went fine. He turned it over, looked at the backside, and said, "I'm going to clean this," at which point I thought, great, here's where he'll make his money. When he came back out, he handed it to me and said that it was really dusty and to try not to let it get too hot. I said okay and thanked him, and then he told me to have a nice day and didn't charge me for anything!! Yehoooo!!

And that's the end. I was thinking though, it's in these small but seemingly huge everyday occurrences that God asks us to trust in Him. As I was walking to and from the store, I just kept thinking, okay, God, what am I supposed to learn from this? Why would you scare me like this!?!. Just clue me in, please! When I got home, I was highly relieved of course, but still somewhat unsettled. I just set me laptop back on my desk and plugged it in. I left her (my laptop is affectionately called Lacy-Anne Toms and is a girl) sleeping and waited until after supper to start her up to see if she was just playing a trick at the store. I was praying the whole time that everything would be normal. And it was.

I'll take the risk of sounding completely melodramatic here, but it really felt like my whole life had been snatched from me. It was dangling by a thread; the assurance of it being given back to me was nonexistent. And it's at those times that you realize what you cling to, what you really trust in this life. Do I cling to my computer and all the it offers me, or do I cling to Christ? Well, maybe that's what this was all about...

Laptops and humans alike need some routine maintenance and dusting off in order to work to their potential.

~Sarah

Finished another one

I do not recall nor do I feel like counting the number of books I've read since I got here. However, I finished Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah last week as well. I had the last 50 pages to go, and I was a ball of tears for the last forty. This is no exaggeration, my friends. I am being completely serious. I was laying there on the sofa bed, determined to finish the novel (when I get to the less-than-50-pages-to-go mark, I just want to get it finished), and when the tears started flowing they just didn't stop. I figured I'd just cry for a couple pages, so I let my t-shirt suffice to wipe them away. Um...wrong. It was frighteningly insufficient  Once my sleeves and collar were unpleasantly damp, I was more or less drowning in the salty stream, not to mention that I could no longer breathe through my nose anymore. I got up and got a tissue. Four of them actually.

And once I got to the last page, page 479, all four were well used. I do not even remember the last time I had cried that much from a book. It is a moving story, and if you have a best friend - your other half, the one who tells it to you straight no matter what, the one you can always count on, your "lifer" - then your heart strings will be plucked and tuned in order that you never forget what really counts in this life.

Ahh....I could read it all over again and still probably cry that much all over again.

April is not Fooling

That's right. April is not fooling me. It may seem like it's still winter outside, which makes me think it's still January or something, which would mean my time here is not running out as fast. Ha. Joke's on you, fourth month of the year. I know better. Three months; that's a quarter of a year; that's all the more time I have here.

I got home to Hollabrunn this evening after spending a whole 8 days in Vienna staying with one of the sweetest people I've met here and two little dogs. It was a great "spring break" even though it was snowy, cold, and rainy. I did not have any exact plans, so I was content to take each day as it came- snow, rain, or shine. I relaxed, watched movies, watched Suits, baked really yummy things, played with two rambunctious little pooches, and finally saw a couple awesome museums. I can't even remember the last time I had been into the city on a weekday, so it was nice to actually be able to go into a store or two if I wanted since everything is closed on Sundays. I went to the city library for a couple hours one day to read, which was nice. It sort of made me miss college, something I didn't think I'd say while being here, but alas, 'tis true.

The next day we went to explore two of Vienna's Easter markets. Although there were not as many of them dotting the map as there were Christmas markets, they were just as exciting and fun and sweet smelling. Not to mention there were what seemed like millions of brilliantly decorated eggs for sale. Real eggs, with all the insides blown out, decorated with the utmost craftsmanship and creativity!

I probably spent a good half of an hour meandering through the crates. I could have spent a  fortune on those things!

After we visited the markets, I left to find my way the the Natural History Museum, which I was pretty stoked for. Like I said, I haven't really been in the center of the city for a while, not to mention in the daytime, so I stopped a long the way a couple of times just to looked around. The Rathaus is such a work of art. 

The Burg Theater right across the street from the Rathaus

The Rathaus

So then I made it to the museum. The Art and Natural History museums are right next to each other with a little park thing in between them. The buildings are actually mirror images of each other too. How cool. I visited the Natural History Museum, and I soaked up every minute of it. It was the first time I've ever been to a museum by myself before, and I must say, it was more than pleasant. No one was there to drag me along or complain about being bored and wanting to go. I took my time, read descriptions, and did my best to absorb some new knowledge. Plus, I saw the BodyWorld exhibit for the first time. Oh my word, it was awesome and definitely worth the extra 7 EUR. I even bought the book, which tells all about plastination and is also a little mini anatomy text book. I was there for about three and a half hours, but could have stayed for five. I saw fossils, stones, gems, dinosaurs, birds, whales, sharks, cheetahs, elephants, giraffes, and what an 7 week old embryo looks like, fingers included!! Ahh, and so so much more! It was so cool. Fun fact: technically they are not called saber tooth tigers; they're called saber tooth cats. Learning is fun :)

Art History

This one moved!!

woolly rhinoceros 

giant Irish elk

saber tooth cats

the dome

I just had to

Later that evening we baked the yummy things! Plus, what makes it even more of a feat, we didn't have any actual measuring cups. We used a juice glass as our "cup" measure...and then just sort of based everything off of that. And there may have been a couple times when I added a dash of this and a pinch of that just for good measure. In the end everything turned out fantastic and immensely pleased my over excited sweet tooth.

Cinnamon coffee cake

Chocolate chip cookies :D

Indulging :)

On Good Friday I took a trip to the Belvedere, a museum and one of the famous residences of Vienna. The artwork was beautiful and I got told off for taking photographs. To be honest, I didn't see the no photos sign. Oh well. My favorite pieces were all from the impressionism and realism periods. Both the style and content appealed more to my eyes than the others. And Klimt, while he certainly is something, but he's not my favorite; I'd take Monet over him any day.

Upper Belvedere

The gardens looking out to the lower Belvedere and the rest of Vienna

We had a Good Friday service that evening at which I was in charge of the music. Everything went smoothly, except by the end of it my voice was dead. We sang a lot of hymns, which were lovely, but also a bit long and repetitive at times. Since hymns are a bit tricky to play on guitar, I decided to just stand and sing with the keyboard and violin played behind me, which turned out to be a good choice. Then I Saturday was probably one of my favorite days here in Austria. It was fun, super chill, involved playing and listening to music, shopping, jokes, laughing, and hanging out with lots of awesome people. The same goes for Easter Sunday. I led worship at church for this service as well. Even though I didn't really feel nervous leading up to it, when we started the first song, I could tell my adrenaline was pumping. I love celebrating the Resurrection, so I was already excited about that, but then adding being up front with the praise team for some reason gave me a little extra boost. But, as always, the Holy Spirit was at work; everything calmed down and settled into place, and it was a great time of worship and celebration. And then it just kept getting better. Following the service, we did my favorite combination of things: ate food, watched a movie, chatted, and stayed out late. Honestly, it's so simple, but it's so great and, I believe, one of the best ways to deepen relationships. Cheers to getting one of the last U-bahns and making it home :)

I thought about going to another museum on Monday, but I was too tired and felt like being lazy. So Galya and I watched two episodes of Suits and relaxed. I left Vienna feeling refreshed and wishing I could stay longer, but at the same time excited to see my family in Hollabrunn. I made it on the train; however, exiting the train was my problem this time. When I got to the door at my stop, it wouldn't open. The door opens by touched this "button" which isn't really a button. It's flat and has a sensor that is supposed to open the door! Gah! Well, it must have looked or it was not working, and the train pulled away with me still on it. No one had come by to check my ticket, and I was just praying that they wouldn't come now. I had no idea how long it would be until the next stop as I'd never been on the other side of Hollabrunn before. Luckily it was only about five minutes. I called my family, but they were unable to assist me; then I called the only other person who could possibly have picked me up. He didn't answer. Then I asked the kid with silver nail polish (ha) if he spoke English (he did) and if he could tell me when the next train to Hollabrunn was. Nearly two hours. Ha. How lovely. So I read a chapter of my book, which was quite nice actually, and that took me about an hour. Then my phone rings and it's the only other person calling me back!!! 

"Oh yeah, I'm on my way to Hollabrunn, I can just come pick you up."

Thank you, Stefan. Thanks for laughing at and with me and for making me laugh at myself too. I hope you enjoyed the cookies as your payment and thank you! ;)

And now it's back to life here. No matter what the job, the first couple days back to work are a little awkward and tiresome, so hopefully everything settles back in nicely, which I have no doubt that it will.

Until the next time,

~Sarah